Taking control of the steering wheel

Imagine how great it would be to have just one extra hour in the day to get done exactly what you wanted to complete. Now, let’s take a look at how much time you spend in a day worrying about the things you’re not getting done. How much time do you spend convincing yourself that this is alright? Or what about the energy you expand on being frustrated and angry that you’re not even close to getting the things done you used to.

For me, I would start out gung-ho with a plan and an agenda of how I was going to get everything I needed to do done. Then usually a “crisis” would come up which needed my attention more than my schedule did. Now the crisis didn’t have to be very big like a cracked tooth or a school invent, but usually it’s something that just needs all my attention. Slowly but surely the things that I had put on my schedule were being left undone. Don’t get me wrong, I did enjoy doing some of the things that interrupted my day, but I didn’t love all of them. What would happen is that I would start worrying late into the night and wondering whether or not anything was ever going to get finished.

I started waking up earlier in the day just so that I could get in some of the things I wanted to do for myself, such as meditating. At the end of the day there was never enough time to finish cleaning up the house and making sure that the lunches were ready for the next day or making sure that my mother in law was dressed for bed. This all led to me fretting and worrying into the night trying to get everything done. Waking up earlier, and stressing at night, inevitably led to shorter nights.

Then came the breaking point. My days as the family octopus and go to girl had met their demise. I was sleep deprived, angry and overburdened by everyone’s imagined and real demands. I had completely worn myself out. My body started to give out, and I was bed ridden with the flu. While I was in bed unable to perform at my usual efficient level my brain had gone into overdrive. My inner critic went to town on a litany of abuse for not being there for everyone. I didn’t understand why I couldn’t control the superwoman driving my bus anymore. I had wound up in the ditch, wheels up and I needed to hit the eject button to survive this crash.

Then my brain as the benevolent observer of my life came in.

It was demanding that I get help, and pronto.

What came next is a host of research which finally landed me in self coaching scholars. It was something I could learn and do at my pace, and since I felt very trapped, I was happy that I could do this from my own home.

The lessons I was learning and the relief I began to feel urged me to help others (you) to learn and change your own thinking and teach you how to get the life you want if the life you have is not working for you To find out more about how you can start taking these steps and book now.

Get back being in the driver’s seat of your own life.

You are not alone

According to the National Family Caregivers Association, more than 50 million Americans provide care for a chronically ill, disabled, or aged family member or friend during any given year, and that number is growing. Adult children are often first in line to care for their aging parents. But what if those adult children are still raising children of their own? This is the burgeoning challenge faced by an entire “Sandwich Generation” of family caregivers.
When added to the many responsibilities of their own daily lives, including work and raising their own family, caring for a loved one with declining health can be quite an undertaking. In addition to the physical and financial strain of “being everywhere at once,” Sandwich Generation caregivers bear a complicated emotional burden. The worry, pain, and sorrow they already feel over a parent’s illness are compounded by the demanding challenges of caregiving. Feelings of powerlessness and guilt are prevalent in family caregivers — for repeatedly having to “choose” one family need over another, for feeling that no choice can ever be the “right” one, and even for feeling they have no choice at all.

The challenges are real and daunting, and more families are facing them every day.

1. Exhaustion

2. Resentment

3. Worry

4. Happiness

TEN TIPS FOR FAMILY CAREGIVERS FROM THE NATIONAL FAMILY CAREGIVERS ASSOCIATION

1. Choose to take charge of your life, and don’t let your loved one’s illness or disability always take centre stage.

2. Remember to be good to yourself. Love, honour, and value yourself. You’re doing a very hard job, and you deserve some quality time, just for you.

3. Watch out for signs of depression, and don’t delay in getting professional help when you need it.

4. When people offer to help, accept the offer and suggest specific things that they can do.

5. Educate yourself about your loved one’s condition. Information is empowering.

6. There’s a difference between caring and doing. Be open to technologies and ideas that promote your loved one’s independence.

7. Trust your instincts. Most of the time they’ll lead you in the right direction.

8. Grieve for your losses, and then allow yourself to dream new dreams.

9. Stand up for your rights as a caregiver and a citizen.

10. Seek support from other caregivers. There is great strength in knowing you are not alone.

    YOU ARE NOT ALONE: there is help for you everywhere just ask for it.