help for caregivers

Why I coach

Why I coach

I truly believe that I can help you right now, no matter where you happen to be in your journey.

I am a lifelong learner and I was certified as a life coach by The Life Coach School,

September of 2018, previously I have spent the past 30 years learning

and embracing different modalities of self-awareness, therapies, and support. All have led me to the present and to launching my business and aligning with my passion to always be helping others.

There is nobody who I have coached that has not been helped or enlightened, I think everyone can learn new tools to help themselves.

I embarked on this journey of becoming a coach because it has

always been my goal to help people and I finally found the best way I can to do

that as a coach.

Assisted Living

Assisted Living

Every day, you visit, each day you remember the things you love about your parent who is now not able to be independent and living the life you once knew with them.

You are not caring for your loved one in a hands-on way, but still they are top of mind for you.

Then you get a phone call from their senior care residence, totally unexpected always but your thoughts usually run in several directions:

One extra hour

One extra hour

Imagine how great it would be to have just one extra hour in the day to get done exactly what you wanted to complete.  Now, let’s take a look at how much time you spend in a day worrying about the things you’re not getting done. How much time do you spend convincing yourself that this is OK? Or what about the energy you expand on being frustrated and angry that you’re not even close to getting the things done you used to.

 

For me, I would start out gung-ho with a plan and an agenda of how I was going to get everything I needed to do done. Then usually a “crisis” would come up which needed my attention more than my schedule did. Now the crisis didn’t have to be very big like a cracked tooth or a school invent, but usually it’s something that just needs all my attention. Slowly but surely the things that I had put on my schedule were being left undone. Don’t get me wrong, I did enjoy doing some of the things that interrupted my day, but I didn’t love all of them. What would happen is that I would start worrying late into the night and wondering whether or not anything was ever going to get finished.

 

You are not alone

According to the National Family Caregivers Association, more than 50 million Americans provide care for a chronically ill, disabled, or aged family member or friend during any given year, and that number is growing. Adult children are often first in line to care for their aging parents. But what if those adult children are still raising children of their own? This is the burgeoning challenge faced by an entire “Sandwich Generation” of family caregivers.
When added to the many responsibilities of their own daily lives, including work and raising their own family, caring for a loved one with declining health can be quite an undertaking. In addition to the physical and financial strain of “being everywhere at once,” Sandwich Generation caregivers bear a complicated emotional burden. The worry, pain, and sorrow they already feel over a parent’s illness are compounded by the demanding challenges of caregiving. Feelings of powerlessness and guilt are prevalent in family caregivers — for repeatedly having to “choose” one family need over another, for feeling that no choice can ever be the “right” one, and even for feeling they have no choice at all.

The challenges are real and daunting, and more families are facing them every day.

  1. Exhaustion

  2. Resentment

  3. Worry

  4. Happiness

TEN TIPS FOR FAMILY CAREGIVERS FROM THE NATIONAL FAMILY CAREGIVERS ASSOCIATION

  1. Choose to take charge of your life, and don’t let your loved one’s illness or disability always take centre stage.

  2. Remember to be good to yourself. Love, honour, and value yourself. You’re doing a very hard job, and you deserve some quality time, just for you.

  3. Watch out for signs of depression, and don’t delay in getting professional help when you need it.

  4. When people offer to help, accept the offer and suggest specific things that they can do.

  5. Educate yourself about your loved one’s condition. Information is empowering.

  6. There’s a difference between caring and doing. Be open to technologies and ideas that promote your loved one’s independence.

  7. Trust your instincts. Most of the time they’ll lead you in the right direction.

  8. Grieve for your losses, and then allow yourself to dream new dreams.

  9. Stand up for your rights as a caregiver and a citizen.

  10. Seek support from other caregivers. There is great strength in knowing you are not alone.

    YOU ARE NOT ALONE: there is help for you everywhere just ask for it.

Time Stress

Time Stress

As caregivers we almost never reach out for help. I wonder why we continue to believe that just because we are taking care of someone, we cannot take care of ourselves, or that we cannot somehow be take care of at the same time.

Unsurprisingly, over one-third of adults with a parent 65 or older and a dependent child feel constantly rushed, compared to 23% of other adults. This makes sense—if you’re trying to manage your own life and career plus jet between a kid’s soccer game and a parent’s house to make sure the fridge is stocked, sitting down can feel like a luxury.

 

As with the standard airline warning – when the oxygen max arrives, please put yours on FIRST before helping those around you who cannot help themselves. 

 

“If the cabin air pressure changes dramatically, oxygen masks might fall from the ceiling directly in front of you. Follow the airline's instructions in operating their masks. If a child is seated beside you, put on your own mask before helping to put a mask on the child. “

 

And yet we forget.  All of the time, we believe that being exhausted busy and selfless is the ONLY way we can trust we are doing our best as a caregiver.  We take on way more responsibilities for others, we often give up self-care simply because there is no more time for that.  We deem ourselves less important, we tell ourselves it’s only for a short time, we decide things like hot meals, haircuts, and visiting with friends is not as important as being on hand to watch over our loved ones when they need us most.