Every day, you visit, each day you remember the things you love about your parent who is now not able to be independent and living the life you once knew with them.
You are not caring for your loved one in a hands-on way, but still they are top of mind for you.
Then you get a phone call from their senior care residence, totally unexpected always but your thoughts usually run in several directions:
Something has happened – tragedy –
Something is wrong they need me – what can I do
They are upset and need me – what can I say
It’s just a robocall telling us yet another event or lock down is happening - relief
This are just a few examples of how any given day can go in our household and in yours if you are part of the sandwich generation whose loved ones have progressed in their age, illness, or mental incapacity to the point where they need round the clock professional care.
The toll on us as the caregiver and family member is immense and often goes unnoticed and unacknowledged.
It’s never easy when you set up a precedent of expectations with elderly and or Alzheimer’s patients who no longer reason and live only in the moment.
Learning and practicing a new way to communicate is often the key to management of everyone’s well-being in the end.
Learning three simple rules can make the experience much more pleasant for everyone.
Don’t ask direct questions
Listen to the expert – the person with dementia – and learn from them
Don’t contradict
Keep practicing a new belief about how you are around your loved one and try to let go of the thoughts and habits of a lifetime.
When you feel like you have no idea what you are going to say or do next remember to think what LOVE would do and do that. It’s the simplest and probably the best option in the end.
For more insight and support book now, I am here to help you