guilt

One extra hour

One extra hour

Imagine how great it would be to have just one extra hour in the day to get done exactly what you wanted to complete.  Now, let’s take a look at how much time you spend in a day worrying about the things you’re not getting done. How much time do you spend convincing yourself that this is OK? Or what about the energy you expand on being frustrated and angry that you’re not even close to getting the things done you used to.

 

For me, I would start out gung-ho with a plan and an agenda of how I was going to get everything I needed to do done. Then usually a “crisis” would come up which needed my attention more than my schedule did. Now the crisis didn’t have to be very big like a cracked tooth or a school invent, but usually it’s something that just needs all my attention. Slowly but surely the things that I had put on my schedule were being left undone. Don’t get me wrong, I did enjoy doing some of the things that interrupted my day, but I didn’t love all of them. What would happen is that I would start worrying late into the night and wondering whether or not anything was ever going to get finished.

 

Time Stress

Time Stress

As caregivers we almost never reach out for help. I wonder why we continue to believe that just because we are taking care of someone, we cannot take care of ourselves, or that we cannot somehow be take care of at the same time.

Unsurprisingly, over one-third of adults with a parent 65 or older and a dependent child feel constantly rushed, compared to 23% of other adults. This makes sense—if you’re trying to manage your own life and career plus jet between a kid’s soccer game and a parent’s house to make sure the fridge is stocked, sitting down can feel like a luxury.

 

As with the standard airline warning – when the oxygen max arrives, please put yours on FIRST before helping those around you who cannot help themselves. 

 

“If the cabin air pressure changes dramatically, oxygen masks might fall from the ceiling directly in front of you. Follow the airline's instructions in operating their masks. If a child is seated beside you, put on your own mask before helping to put a mask on the child. “

 

And yet we forget.  All of the time, we believe that being exhausted busy and selfless is the ONLY way we can trust we are doing our best as a caregiver.  We take on way more responsibilities for others, we often give up self-care simply because there is no more time for that.  We deem ourselves less important, we tell ourselves it’s only for a short time, we decide things like hot meals, haircuts, and visiting with friends is not as important as being on hand to watch over our loved ones when they need us most.

 

 

Getting stuff done

Getting stuff done

Do you ever feel like no matter what you start, how excited you were when you started, nothing ever seems to get finished? There's always some interruption, there's always something more important that needs to be done, there's always someone who needs your time and more than you do.  Is it just impossible to find the time to get tasks completed that you started no matter how exciting they are if they're not important to the collective that you belong to?